When Parenting Experts Are Wrong

My favorite advice to give to a newly expecting mama? “The experts might be wrong.”

Even if someone is an “expert” in their field, even if they’re a best selling author, a doctor or your best friend they may not know what is right for your family. The reason their advice works for many people is because they present it in a black and white manner. Kids are ____. If you do ______ the outcome you want will happen. That’s why parents listen to them. But sometimes parenting experts are wrong and there is a really important thing to know…

YOU ARE THE EXPERT on your family. So, if you like a piece of advice someone gives you, try it! If it doesn’t work out for you, move on. If someone gives you advice that does not fit with your family or your personality, forget you ever heard it. Let it go in one ear and out the other. Life is too short to try to fit your motherhood into someone else’s picture. Or even into your own pre-conceived picture.

You are the expert on your family. It will take time to learn and grow in confidence but along the way remind yourself that you are the expert on your family.

-Breezy Breastfeeding

Some people learn this lesson quickly. Unfortunately, it took me three kids and a very poor sleeper for me to realize advice an expert gave me may not work for us. Sometimes parenting experts are wrong. I had to filter information through the lens of how it worked in our home.

Common examples when you’ll need to apply the theory that sometimes parenting experts are wrong

• Feeding
• Sleep

A well fed baby can have a lot of different feeding patterns. A well rested family can have many different sleeping patterns and goals. This takes a little practice but as you learn more about your family and your kids, you’ll get the hang of it. For details on how to breastfeed so it fits your personality, check out this article.

Remember, if you like a piece of advice someone gives you, try it! Don’t be afraid to read a book or articles on a topic you’re struggling with. BUT, if it doesn’t work out for you, move on. If someone gives you advice that does not fit with your family or your personality, forget you ever heard it. Let it go in one ear and out the other. Life is too short to try to fit your motherhood into someone else’s picture.

If you need help with some different sleep ideas, Dr. James McKenna runs a Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Lab at the University of Notre Dame. He is a wealth of knowledge in topic of mother and infant sleep. Browse his site and you may learn something new that you can use!