Let me give you an example. You may feel overwhelmed, like you’ll never catch up, like everything is falling apart. But everything is not actually falling apart. It has been a huge blessing to me to remind myself of this a few times this spring. Today is one of those days. I’m sick with a cold, tired, and frustrated because I’m struggling to learn something new. When I get stressed and emotional about anything it makes it harder for me to handle Gus not being here. But today, I’m thankful for a lesson I learned a couple months ago.
On Easter, our 4 year old had a fever. I was just going to go to a different Mass than my family so someone would be home with him but my parents had gone to the Easter Vigil so my mom blessed me with watching him Easter morning. My 7 year old was singing in the choir, my husband and three other boys were serving as hospitality ministers throughout Mass. So, I sat in the pew with my dad.
I know taking kids to church can be hard. I have felt the humiliating rage when a child does something in church that I deem them old enough to know better. They also bring so much joy to everything. I still want to be in the stage with my babies and toddlers in the pew with me. I wasn’t wishing myself out of this stage. Yet, here I was, in the pew with zero kids and my hormones plummeting from my miscarriage the week before.
It felt like Lent. It felt hard and sorrowful and not what I expected. I expected to have my two year old with me but God had different plans for him to be celebrating in Heaven. Gracefully handling changes in expectation is something you’ll constantly be challenged to do in motherhood. Days with little kids need you to be able to adjust directions on a dime when you notice the plans you made are not right for your family in the moment.
I was so thankful that Easter day, that I could remind myself my feelings weren’t reality. Jesus had died on the cross to save us. He had risen and conquered death. God does have a beautiful plan for Gus. He does love me unconditionally. We are an Easter people and Alleluia is our song. (JPII/Saint Augustine perhaps)
In the Church’s wisdom, Easter day is celebrated for 8 days and Easter season for 50 days. This meant, I was able to celebrate Easter a little more each day until my brain, heart, and hormones could catch up to reality.
Yours can, too. Next time you feel really strong emotions ask yourself if they fit with what you know to be true. If you don’t know, ask Jesus. Let yourself relax and fall into the hands of the Lord. He is strong and mighty, he loves you, and he’s got you.
Some helpful verses for me:
Man, I am using my Bible that doesn’t have Bible tabs today and I am struggling! I am a huge fan of these tabs if it makes anyone feel less overwhelmed with the Bible. (Make sure you get Catholic ones so you get tabs for Tobit, Judith, Wisdom, Sirach (Ecclesiasticus), Baruch, and 1 and 2 Maccabees.)
To remind yourself of our temporary place in this world and the reality of Heaven, try placing some religious artwork around your home. I like to create my own and collect ones from various places. You can find some of mine on Etsy.