I strongly encourage you to invite people over, even when your house is messy! We were not made to live in isolation! New mamas used to have grandparents in the same house or on the same street. They interacted with all their neighbors and many people were home during the day. Now, depending on your neighborhood, your support system could look VERY different. Even if you live in a great neighborhood, creating and maintaining community takes intentionality.
The day I gained confidence to host regardless of the state of my home
Once day, I held an impromptu Bible Study with some moms in my neighborhood. I don’t remember the details but I’m going to guess CoVid was the reason we weren’t meeting at Church and didn’t have something more organized going on. We sat at the table, drank coffee, and discussed a difficult Bible verse. Why difficult? I’m not sure, I chose it. I guess I like to challenge people?! I remember feeling like we were supposed to discussed a particular verse and push ourselves closer to Jesus. If you were there and remember which Gospel it was, let me know! It may have been:
“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
Matthew 10:37-39
Or
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal. But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.”
Matthew 7:19-21
No one will notice you house is messy
We had a beautiful morning drinking coffee and discussing what God was speaking to us. Afterward, a friend texted me a thank you for hosting and said she felt her house wasn’t ready to host. I asked her if she noticed the cardboard pile that was in the corner of the dinning room where we met. She said no. I told her no one is going to notice her mess either. And even if they do notice, it doesn’t matter!
The dining room we met in also functions as our homeschool room. So, in case you were picturing a beautiful dining room with one cute cardboard creation, think again!
Now, if I know someone is coming over, I do move a little faster to pick a few extra things up before company arrives. And about half the time I wipe down the toilet because with 6 boys, I suppose that’s my area of most concern. Though I’m sure all my friends could find the wipes under the sink themselves if need be. That’s probably happened and I just don’t know!
Do not wait to invite people over
I do prefer to have a tidy house, though mine almost never is. The point is, do not wait for the right time to create community. Do not wait for the right time to invite people into your home. Invite them even when your house is messy. God can do so much good through that and you will be blessed immensely! People need community. Especially new mamas. There’s a lot of transition happening and the devil loves to speak lies into that and make you feel alone. Surround yourself with friends who will build you up, challenge you, remind you of the truth, and walk with you on this journey to Heaven.
So true Jill. You are a champion on connection ❤️
Beautifully said and a wonderful reminder. You bring a warmth to your home and all who enter. Love the coffee cups as they are so inviting. Less Martha, more Mary for me please xox
Dear friend, you teach me many lessons… but this one might actually be the most valuable. I do not remember the bible verse on that day, and I do not remember the cardboard pile, but I always remember the way you make me feel when I am in your home. I never feel inadequate; I always feel welcome and encouraged. Imperfection makes the friendship richer.
It does, doesn’t it?! It’s like knowing someone’s story… even the parts we think won’t be liked… lead to deeper connection and understanding. Thanks for sharing coffee or drinks or whatever with me!